I can’t handle this,” he told her.
But something in his expression screamed:
“I can’t handle you.”
And she thought then, that perhaps all relationships were just a case of who gave up first. And her pride couldn’t decide which was worse: giving up when you had promised them not to, or waking up to find that they had given up on you.”
epiphanies, entry 25
- you don’t have to forgive someone, or say “it’s okay,” right after they give an apology. don’t say, “it’s okay, but…” and continue on about how angry or hurt you are. you’re allowed to simply say, “thank you for apologizing,” and if the apology was sincere, forgive when you’re ready.
- eventually you will have to forgive yourself for the years, months, personality, accomplishments, relationships you lost to mental illness.
- you are a destructive person separate from mental illness. deal with it.
- maybe you don’t want to die. maybe you just need a new environment.
- it’s okay to cry. don’t ask others for permission.
- it’s okay to not let yourself cry sometimes. how much you cry doesn’t validate or invalidate how much it hurts.
- you should love that you have an open heart that catches and cups other people’s grief. but remember when it overflows, to attend to yourself for a while.
well… my dad’s guests drank my wine from Austria that I was saving to commemorate my trip there, after having years of winos coming in and through this house, and me constantly asking my dad if I should hide it somewhere or put a note on it, and him scoffing at me and saying, “you think I’d let people drink it? no one’s going to drink it.”